Thursday, May 23, 2019

Trash Dragons

Colorful, an oil slick on
shallow puddle of our logic,
they noisome slide on starlit nights
via filth-robed wretched might.

So many of the rpg rituals I've been writing lately are mostly self abasement, degradation. Which I suspect says more about my kinks than anything else.

“Welcome to shrug city, P.”

I'm not quite this gross. Just to be clear.


(Quick note: anybody can do magic [mostly via weird ritual] in my home game. Wise Witches are usually better at it, though. If you're more traditionally frpg minded, only magic users or chaos aligned clerics prolly can do this.)

The ritual is simple, and relatively safe. Assuming dysentery and food poisoning don't kill ya in the first couple of days.

Required components:
  • A Trash Dragon's True Name
    • Currently 17 [of 49] remain unsummoned.
    • When discovered 2/6 chance name is still usable.
  • An old midden heap or cesspit
  • Willingness to discard one's standing, to debase oneself to an unconcerned bit of refuse.
Sign of Unbalanced Orbs

First, strip naked before the trash pile at midday. You are nothing and have nothing but trash, refuse, garbage.

Second, prepare yourself for anti-ablution. Carve the Sign of Unbalanced Orbs into your flesh with any convenient bit of garbage.

Third, enter into the midden, your new home. Unwash yourself, taking care to crust filth particularly on your unhallowed wounds.

Fourth, declare yourself “...not but trash!” to all passersby.

Fifth, leave not your midden for at least 7 days.

Sixth, eat not but what you find; accept no alms and touch nothing clean nor blessed.

Seventh, on a New Moon at midnight scream “Serpent of Earth by Man Refused, I call ye. As, from, and to the filth, I call ye. Refuse me not! I am dung. I am trash. I am thee! Come to me! [true name 3×].”

In game terms, Save vs Poison or die from infection 1d6 days into the ritual. (Prime secret DM roll territory here.)

When the dragon is called, Save vs Magic or become the dragon rather than binding them to your will. You're a filthy chaos beast now. Them's the breaks.

Successful summoning grants a permanent +4 to all Poison saves. The dragon will consider the summoner an important advisor and trusted friend, almost a parent. However, while the dragon will usually obey the summoner, they don't have to. Their primary purpose and desire is to befoul fresh and clean things.

about them big ol’ filth lizards

The “flesh” is semisolid, half compost, half spoiled meat. Sinuous, they swim through the air like an eel. Rot and disease festers always in their wake.

Trash Dragons are 15-20’ long with mass equivalent to an adult tiger. Coloration: mildew black, wormy apple brown, pork slime green, fungal purple, cockroach sable, etc.

stat block shiz
Trash Dragon, 3+3 HD, AC as Chain, 1 attack, Gross Bite 1d8+3, Move: Sinuous and Quick.
Special: 2× per day, Fetid Breath -- 1d6 damage, 70’ radius. All (except dragon and summoner) must Save vs Poison or vomit uncontrollably for 1d8 rounds.
Special: 1× per day, Unbirth -- Trash Dragon can transform into a Trash Pile. Trash Dragon will reform at midnight.