Tuesday, March 14, 2017

Darf!


Darf! a playable class (if you hate everyone in your group)


Darfs are pretty small. Darfs are all unique. Darfs are probably a joke played by some dumb god of coked up orcs or something.

They share a few common traits: stubby little limbs, blunt mismatched tails, big stupid mouths.

The things can ambulate on either 2 or 4 legs. Mostly though, they slapstick and slip their way forward, more or less.

All, however, squeak out the word, “Darf!” when frightened, hurt, or perplexed.

Game Shiz:

Darfs! advance as thieves/specialists

  • HD d12 (Min 6)
  • BAB -1
  • Armor: Natural AC  of 15. May only wear helmets, AC 17, but it looks really stupid.
  • Saves: All saves begin at 10. All go down by 1, per level. Darfs are notoriously hard to kill. Obnoxiously lucky.
  • Weapons: All weapons wielded by Darfs do 1d3 damage at most. (Note that their strength falls within human norms. Those dumb little fingers, though… those, those idiotic fumbling movements… No matter if it is the Earspoon of Eternity or a prison shank or a fucking blunderbuss – all inflict the same ineffectual amount of damage.)

Special Notes:
  • Darfs are twice as likely set off traps, but are allowed a saving throw to avoid harmful effects (whether typically called for or not).
  • Beings hearing the exclamative “Darf!”, as spoken by a Darf, are twice as likely to react with hostility towards the Darf and any perceived Darf allies.
  • Darfs require 3x the normal amount of rations/sustenance daily. Darfs who do not get enough to eat are at -1 penalty to saves per each ration/meal missed the previous day (and given to ceaseless complaints). If this hunger penalty exceeds -6, the Darf dies... to general applause.