Saturday, December 28, 2013

It's Kind of a Dick Move, But...

Where's the d12 random things chart? The short answer is it's here so it'll cost ya 50¢. You'll also get a fun creepy new monster to play with and a short adventure. The adventure is written to force bring together a group of strangers by making them all the victim of an inter-dimensional horror.

But what about the random chart?

It's d12 Strange Payments, the kind of things you might wind up owing a wizard. You know, "Go bring me the Tears of an Unloved Prince, and we'll be square" or "I need a Mother's Spite, in my lab, by next week, or else...". Things like that: weird, inscrutable, unpossible things. Though, not those two things. It's twelve different things. Maybe that's worth a couple quarters to ya?


I still feel a bit like a tool so here's a bonus thing: Smuggler's Hole (which sounds a like a sex move).

After a tight squeeze and a blind drop, you'll land on the first slippery, rotten platform. Watch your step on the rickety stairs to the second.

Perpetually cool and damp, everything in these natural limestone caverns is coated in layer of fine-particled mud. Hot items are stored in the bucket. (Though the truly valuable things are hidden in the mud the bucket rests upon, by the truly agile.) 

It's an especially dangerous place, rumored to hold as many corpses as lost valuables. A famous scoundrel supposedly hid his greatest haul somewhere in these pits. The unfortunate fellow is said to have been hung for a minor offense before getting to enjoy his ill-gotten gains.

What's in the Bucket? d4
1 - The Baroness's Gold Necklace
2 - The Duke's Crystal Eye
3 - The Vizier's Ceremonial Mace
4 - The Princess's Best Dress 

What's in the mud? d4
1 - Small Rough Ruby (Worth 3d10 gp)
2 - Set of Cold Ivory Dice (Carved from Ice Dragon Bones. 2d6 x 10 gp if known to be Draconic Ivory, otherwise 1d6 sp.)
3 - A Purse with 45 Patinaed Bronze Coins (Ancient Money worth 2d10 gp to a collector [or about 1 gp worth of raw bronze]; One Coin radiates subtle magic. If swallowed, the coin will cure any disease. It can be swallowed more than once with the same effect...)
4 - The Last Will and Testament of the King (The King is still alive and in good health. The name of his heir is blank...)

Will someone try to kill me for taking this out of the mud/bucket? d4
1-3 - Yes.
4 - Nope. He/She's long dead or in prison.

What's in that chest?
The deed to an abandoned Barony and Manor House in the North, 1 small platinum needle (radiates faint magic), and a chalcedony signet ring with the image of a cut noose. While one's blood is wet upon the needle, even the most outrageous lie seems believable.
Plus, d4
1 - A Zombified Cobra (One shot of its poison still works.)
2 - Poisonous Mold Spores (Strong spirits or acidic liquids [like vinegar] will kill the spores.) 
3 - Odd Silver Coins (Actually they're arsenic.)
4 - A Very Angry Imp (He's Been in the Box for a While...)

Friday, December 20, 2013

d10 Ways to Fidget

Need to make a Perp, Suspect, Victim, or any other NPC memorable?

Drop a d10.

Click To Enlarge
Still reading this? If you liked that spot o' chaos above, why not check out an RPG product I've got for sale, maybe?

It's a bestiary entry, like this one. It also comes with an campaign-starting adventure featuring the monster in question, the Wretched Grasp. The adventure has it all: slime, tentacles, drowning, creepy pidgeon things, dangerous rope, oversized cook-pots, and ends with a platform for even more zany derring-do. It's also got some advice on handling problems that may occur (such as what to do if everybody dies).

All this is System Neutral so I'm basically selling some interesting ideas and amateur illustrations. In an effort to compete with all the preposterously good stuff that my fellow RPG nerds are just giving away, I've decided to put "The Wretched Grasp" on sale for fifty cents! 

Got two quarters to rub together? Well, take 'em down to the bank, convert 'em to digital money, and buy yourself some RPG weirdness.

There's a preview available over on Drivethrurpg, so check it out if you'd like. Or, take a look through the previous articles I've written and see if you think my stuff might be worth some spare change. 


The Wretched Grasp for Only $1.50 $0.50 ← Click For a Good Time...

Friday, December 13, 2013

Mad Dreams Etched in Plastic

"Contact Report - 
Redacted Agency, USA, 04-03-1932"

"Artifact 211-1932-EST"

"...[redacted] found the artifact itself in the possession of a rural Mental Health Facility in Redacted, Georgia..."

"...[redacted] young man seemed to be in otherwise good health. No history of anemia nor mental illness to explain the incident..."

"...[redacted] simple square of marbled green Bakelite plastic. Strange design lightly scratched into the front of the tile..."
Chalked on Black Paper for Clarity

"...[redacted] seems to glow in certain light. Preliminary analysis shows it to be manufactured by the normal phenol and formaldehyde process..."

"...[redacted] 'It were a Goddamned bloody mess, you fools. I put 'em down this time, but my advice is to throw that thing in the deepest fucking hole you can find.' 
Mr. Redacted can perhaps be forgiven his untoward language, considering the events he witnessed..." 

"Official Action Taken - Disposal in Facility Redacted."

Saturday, December 7, 2013

d8 Locales of Interest

Result 1- Click To Enlarge
These are a the sort of random encounter charts I make for my own games. They're quite a bit more robust than most. I tend to go on an on sometimes. 

I like to use encounter charts as plots, locations, things, etc. I definitely want to include, but at no particular time. I've begun to enjoy weaving more elements of chance into the fabric of my games.

A mild warning for the future: as the dX charts continue for larger dice, expect the results to get commensurately shorter. Now, without further ado...
Click to Enlarge
Result 5 - Click To Enlarge
Result 7 - Click To Enlarge