Sunday, February 28, 2016

Playing at Sticks

So I decided to participate in an RPG contest [clickable link, y'all]...

“Old King’s got ‘er locked up now, real sharp.

“Got ‘imself a bobbing pair, he does.”

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“Been a decade ago, His Majesty Oerick, long live, decreed catastrophe, dismissed the Council of Earls, and remade the Laws of Murder and Assault.

“Carry an implement of war, outside called levies and the constabulary, and you now are attempting murder. Assault is to be charged even in mortal self-defense with ‘yron’ implements. So a felling axe may fell a tree, but should it fell a thief, the woodsman is so charged.

“The penalty? Ten years in fetters or two years conscripted, of course.

“Kingdom’s military is currently better manned than at any point in history. The roads have never been so free of bloody knives. Long live.

“What of the men who play at sticks? A gentleman, freeman, or servant may of course carry a staff or cane or walking stick. The farmer must transport his heavy flail. A woman oft carries a distaff and spindle.

“Such implements, not made of ‘yron’, only carry with them the charge of assault when employed with violent intent, wrongful death rather than murder should it so fit.

“Wrongful death? Why execution with time for repentance, of course… or ten years conscription.”

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Public Domain Photo




Keep in mind this was laid out in Word, which is a bit like arranging mosaic tiles with a hammer: doable but unnecessarily rough. Theoretically it would have been quicker to just do a lazy run through with proper layout software... but when I have a bunch of knobs to adjust, I WILL ADJUST THEM. (I guess I could have just left it raw and unfanagled for an even quicker turnaround, but have knobs will adjust.)



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So I've added a tip jar to the blog, in the form a Patreon Campaign.

If you've gotten any worth out of these monsters, wizards, and classes and stuff, please consider donating. Any amount would be greatly appreciated and help to ensure I am able to keep doing this (seeing as this is now one of my few sources of income).


Thanks,

Edward

Saturday, February 20, 2016

Scattershot

A Smattering of LotFP ideas...
One of which has been tested.

Starting Equipment
(Especially for short term games) 
Very quick turnaround from dropping 3d6 a few times to murdering/being-murdered.

Choose 3 items from the following 4 categories.
Helmet (+1 AC)
Shield (+1 AC)
Weapon (assume 6-12 ammo if appropriate)
Useful Item (Grappling Hook and Rope, Lantern and Oil, Hammer and Spikes, etc.)

Additionally: 2 torches, Flask of Water, Day’s Worth of Shitty Food, Appropriate Clothing, 1d4 Silver Pieces.

You want three helmets? Ok. Two grappling hooks and a shield? Fuck yah.

(For a more nuanced version of this idea CHECK THIS SHIT OUT!)

No. It's cool... I got this.


New Skill – Rough Medicine:

Medical care in the form of half-remembered folkways, dubious herbs, and bloody experience. On a successful skill roll, Rough Medicine heals 1 hp of damage; on a failed roll it causes 1 damage.
“Imma just chew this root, boy-o. That’s right… now I’m gonna just spit that into yar wound. Yahp. Just like me sainted mother.” [horrible infection intensifies]
(Especially useful if all healing magic is the result of Faustian bargaining. All healing magic should be the result of Faustian bargaining.)



Dealing with addictive substances:

Rather than dicking around with specific quantities - and since getting properly trashed is an inexact science - drugs (drug-like potions, all things in Narcosa) are purchased in abstract quantity of a stash.
When using, roll a Save vs Breath Weapon (hah) to avoid burning through an entire stash.







---

So I've added a tip jar to the blog, in the form a Patreon Campaign.

If you've gotten any worth out of these monsters, wizards, and classes and stuff, please consider donating. Any amount would be greatly appreciated and help to ensure I am able to keep doing this (seeing as this is now one of my few sources of income).


Thanks,

Edward

Monday, February 8, 2016

(fuck) The Obedient Place




"There, once and ever, lay a place of perfect obedience. A park-like land of rolling greens, golden oaks, unbreakable fealty, it shall not ever change. It cannot ever change.

"There will always be a vulpine Queen. Two ursine Dukes will bristle and binge. And the cygnine Countesses? Four castled ponds require four of them too. How could less than eight feline Barons hope to adequately hate their master Swans? Still will there stand sixteen equine Knights, in violent defense of the realm. Not even murder may keep these mares from their duty.

"But what of the coal-eyed slaves? 

"What of them? They could not count themselves; they could not care unless you asked them to… why would you bother?"

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Would it be fun to adventure in a place of perfect, unbreakable order?

Of course! Adventuring is fun by nature: hyperviolent pseudo-medieval tragicomedy, always fun.

Besides, the unbreakable is meant to be broken. In the semiotic slippage of communication, there is always room for error to become reward. 

The agile minds of players not in actual mortal danger, become the furnaces of insane genius, wild improbable risk yielding unthinkable reward. (Failure results in dire and preposterous consequence, of course.)

The players will find that slip in your words and twist until the whole engine snaps. The murdersome vagrants will throw themselves bodily into the machine until its gears are choked in bone, 

Or maybe they won't. I don't know, but I bet they'd have more fun if they did. 

Watching the world you started burn by the time they finish it, is a rare and wonderful thing. 

There's just nothing more D&D than busting through a wall and skipping most of an adventure. There's nothing more D&D than a botched roll killing the prince the violent fools were sent in to save. 

With D&D, et al., you never know until everyone is dead or kings or Jethro can't make it to the next game.