Sunday, June 28, 2015

A Monster of Existential Despair


The Seeking Unseen

It does not understand. It is not from this place. It blindly gropes for warmth in the dark.

Light does not touch it. The creature cannot see because of this. It is scared, and it is alone in unbearable darkness.

When it senses the soft radiant warmth of a living thing, it reaches out in desperation. Its wet caress is unrelentingly caustic.

If it is struck, the creature hisses forth with a piteous and gurgling cry. Such a doleful scream of absolute abandoned hope, it can wrench tears from adamantine hearts.

The frightened thing will then flee, if possible towards the security of the next nearest soft, warm, and living thing.

The Seeking Unseen does not understand. It cannot understand.

Should enough dust and detritus become stuck to the invisible creature, it will be revealed to be an amorphous thing, vaguely bell-shaped and the size of a small calf. It sends out slow, seeking pseudopods before rapidly flowing into them.

The sad, Seeking Unseen will not cease in its accidental ruin. It is little more than a frightened child; it does not understand.


LotFP Stats:
Armor 12, Move 40′, 3 Hit Dice, Caustic Touch 1d12 damage, Morale 2. Invisible (-6 to hit), though objects touching it remain visible. The creature can eventually fit through any opening of at least 3″ square.

Sunday, June 14, 2015

Savage Worlds: Murder-lite Edition



Click HERE to grab the Index Card Character Sheet PDF


How to make your person:

1.      Look at the character sheet. You have two skills already chosen for you already. Those are Murder and Shooting.
a.       Murder means how rough and tumble and good at killing stuff with swords and shit you are.
b.      Shooting means how good you are at shooting things.

2.      Figure out three other skills your person would be good at. Like Insurance Actuary or Olympic Swimming or Fire Magic or Hoverbike Riding or Alien Language Hearing or whatever. I don’t know what sort of game you’re in. Fuck. Three skills will be at d8. One skill will be at d6. One skill will be at d4. Figure that shit out. Bigger dice mean your person will be better at doing shit.
a.       If a skill is really broad, you can’t begin with it at more than a d6 (except Murder and Shooting). For instance, the skill “Boating” is broad. The skill “Owns a Bass Boat” is not.

3.      If you just have to be extra special, leave both Murder and Shooting at d4. Then you can replace one of your assigned d8s with a d10.

4.      Decide: What the hell is wrong with your character?

5.      Decide: What makes you character such a special fucking snowflake?

6.      Note that your person is “Not Hurt, Yet” on the Damage Track.

7.      Decide what reasonable stuff your person has with the GM.


8.     Figure what your person looks like and a name or whatever.

9.      Your person is now ready for murdering.

How to do stuff:

When trying to do stuff, pick an appropriate skill and roll that die. If you roll a 4 or better, your person does the thing you want.

You are a special snowflake so you also get to roll a “Wild Die.” This is a d6. If it is higher than the other die, you can use this roll instead.

If you have no relevant skills, you can roll a d4 (and your “Wild Die”) at -2 on each.

Dice explode. If you roll the max # on a die, you can roll that die again and add them together.

If you roll an 8 or more, you succeed with a raise. Normally this just means that you succeed really hard. Sometimes it means something more specific than that.

You get two Bennies per session. These are special physical tokens you turn over to the GM to be even more special. You can spend one to get to reroll a crappy roll. You can also spend one to declare, “It just so happens I have this totally useful, but mundane, item which we need…” and have that statement be true. Oh yah, you can also spend one to not be Shaken (more on that later). Finally, you spend one to move up one step on the damage track.

If your person’s “What the hell is wrong with my character?” thing comes up and you don’t have your person act like that thing is a problem for him/her, everyone should deride you for not playing along.

If your person’s “Special Snowflake” thing is pertinent, you can act like you’ve got a Bennie to spend without actually spending one.

How to kill stuff:

When murder is happening, it is important to know who is doing what when. Everybody draw a card. Pretend you are playing poker, and everybody acts in order from ace down to two. Jokers stay in and they are wild. If you have a joker you can interrupt somebody. That’s totally annoying and totally fun.

To attack: Roll your person’s Murder or Shooting, a success means the other guy/gal is hit. Mooks are out with one hit. Important bad guys/gals have a Damage Track like characters.

Shooting automatically happens first if the guy/gal/thing being shot is more than 21 feet away.

When somebody is damaged that is not a Mook, they move one step down on the damage track. 

On the Damage Track: 

  • Armor means the armor helped and nothing bad has happened yet. 
  • Ouch means you are hurt a bit, but it is no big deal yet. 
  • Damn! means that you are wounded kind of bad; -1 penalty to doing stuff. 
  • Shit! means you are wounded super bad; -2 to doing stuff and your person will die if nothing is done. Get some bandages. Take a breather. Drink some whiskey. 
  • Fuck! means that you are like super close to dead, you are Shaken (see below) until healed. 
  • Dead! means your guy/gal is dead.

A few minutes to chill will remove the Armor portion of the damage track, assuming your Person is actually wearing armor. An hour of rest will remove a check from the Ouch box. Reasonable but unskilled medical attention, a day of rest, and a successful Murder roll will remove a check from the Damn! box. Skilled medical care and a week of rest will uncheck the the Shit! box. One month of skilled medical care and total rest will uncheck the Fuck! box.

The damage track tells you when you will be Shaken. When Shaken, your person is like freaked out or got the wind knocked out of him/her or something. You can only move or try to not be Shaken when your person is Shaken. To not be Shaken, make a successful Murder roll. Not being Shaken anymore 
does not remove damage.

Minutia about Killing and Doing Stuff:

  • If you attack without a weapon, roll a die one step down.
  • If  an attack succeeds with a Raise, the victim goes two steps down on the Damage Track.
  • GMs will impose penalties between -1 and -4 for doing stuff that is like really hard. GMs are dicks like that.
  • If your Person is not wearing armor, mark out the Armor box on the Damage track and just, like, pretend it isn’t there.
  • If magic can attack something, treat it just like shooting or murder. Really powerful magic or psionics or laser-eyes should probably like hurt the character or be fueled by bennies or something.

Getting Better at Stuff:

At the end of a session, if your character did something everyone agrees was awesome: then your person can learn a new skill at d4 or raise his/her lowest skill.

Notes for GMs:

Monsters and Obstacles should totally break these rules. Make stuff exciting and give players lots of room to make bad decisions.

Assume Mooks do everything at d6 unless it seems like they’d be bad at it.

If there is no way to do a thing, don’t let people roll dice.

Have fun and try to give the players many interesting problems.

Make sure to get some murdering in if you can.







Tuesday, June 2, 2015

Waxy Rock Trolls


 “That’s right, buddy. Breathe deep. I will always be near you now…”

Being the worst combination of Troll and Drug Pusher, Waxy Rock Trolls obviously hang about under bridges. Actually there may just be one of them, and he’s usually under that stone bridge. It’s the one over by the Refuge in the neon poppy plains.

(And that fucking crystal river is dangerous, yo. DO NOT EAT THE FISH!)

Anyway, he charges a toll to use his bridge. It’s real simple, really. You gotta prove you’re cool and smoke with him. Thing is, you’re smoking his skin, and he will totally be creepy about it.
He’ll say things like: “Dude, now I’m inside you.” “How does it feel, buddy? It feels good, yah? Oh, I know it feels good.”

What does he look like? Oh, yah. Guess that’d be useful. Fucking spaced for a minute there. He looks sort of like a skinny bear, standing on its hind legs. His paws are like totally huge but oddly deft. Oh, and he is like covered completely in waxy, pearlescent crystals.

If you do smoke with him, you’ll feel like crazy good. Like you’re flying on a bed made outta orgasms. You can move like way too fast and everything makes sense (always acts first).

That lasts for like 15 minutes then you’re totally trashed for like 8 hours (-4 on all actions). I mean feeling like worthless fucking death, dude. It’s cool though because he’ll always send you away with a little care package of concentrated skin crystals. You smoke that and you’ll be spun and feeling fine for a few hours more.

Whenever you stop smoking for more than a few hours, you’ll stark sweating wisdom rocks. This is no big; it’s just your soul coming out of your pores. (Lose 1d6 Wisdom). If you smoke it, you should feel a bit better, and you might just nip a little extra soul straight outta the fire. (Gain 1d6 Wisdom).

If you smoke the Troll, he will always be able to talk to you. Whenever. Wherever.

Mostly he just wants to sell you some rocks. And he can get them to you, too. No matter how far or how many planes of reality separate you, the Troll can whisper in your ear and turn any object near you into a waxy rock. All it’ll cost you is a bit of your time (age 1d12 years [1d100 years if it’s a really big object]).

Oh and the comedown gets BAD, after a while.


#narcosa