Saturday, September 12, 2015

so this one time I sort of won this thing...

A while back I wrote this little one page "adventure" about a glowing ball of accidental sadness, a big fucking frog, some unhappy villagers, suicide, and an indestructible tentacle monster. I included some Algernon Charles Swinburne poetry in it and everything.

So I was kind of surprised when I tied for first in the 1 page dungeon contest.

Click the Picture to Enlarge it.
CLICK HERE TO GET THE PDF
I hadn't posted it yet because, well, it seemed redundant. It's on the 1pdc page, available in a cool compendium you can (should) buy, and probably other places at this point.

[redacted]

So I may or may not delete the above paragraph because it's beside the point, unuseful, and/or just me grousing. Either way, these two sentences stay in.

On to the fucking point, I'm posting this now because I made a thing I think will make this easier to run. It's a drop chart to determine which tentacle is hit and where it was hit. Fighting the Thing of Ten Tentacles will by nature be a bit complex. Hopefully this can alleviate a bit of that.

Just make all damage rolls against the Thing of Ten Tentacles on the chart.

You cut along the dashed lines, fold on the dotted ones, and tape it together to make a little box. That should prevent the dice from tumbling out unless the player just fucking slings that shit.

Click to Embiggen

You can also print out an extra copy to cut up as counters to deal with all the independently fighting/flopping tentacle pieces.

Finally, a little advice...

Assuming old school D&D type game stuff:


  1. The frog is mostly just there as a signifier that shit's distorted. It's depressed and slowly starving. All other animal life (except the adventurers probably) are smart enough to stay away from the orb now. Like bugs and fish WILL NOT cross that threshold.
  2. The Thing has 10 attacks per round, 1d6 damage from bludgeoning and/or constricting.
  3. Any roll of less than 3 damage against the tentacles themselves is inconsequential. 
  4. Any roll above 3 damage severs the tentacle at the outside of whatever quarter it landed on.
  5. Each severed 1/4 tentacle has 6 HP. 1d2 damage from flop-slam attacks.
  6. Each severed tentacle that is more than 1/4 tentacle breaks into other pieces on 3+ damage rolls. Does 1d4 damage.
  7. This is still pretty complicated. 
  8. The half-orb-like body of the Thing has 30 HP. Destroying it "blinds" the Thing.
  9. The conduit has 30 HP on each level and can only be destroyed by kinetic damage. Energy attacks phase right through it. Any attack of less than 5 damage is inconsequential. 
  10. 1d6 seconds after breaking through the conduit, it explodes for 1d30 damage filling whichever level was burst.
  11. I imagine the conduit looks like a warp-core filled with angry green-blue lightning.
Anyway enjoy this "adventure" "weird-sadness-location". Should you actually run it, I'd love to hear how it went.