Friday, October 21, 2016

IMPORTANT: an interview with an OSR luminary...


I lived in this guy's trailer a few months back so now seems like a good time to ask him all the important questions.

An interview with +Anxy P. , y'all!

He drawed this picture for me.
Some other arts are here.
The above picture is in this book.

So how do you feel about Oprah Winfrey, Will?

I feel the same way about Oprah that I do about The Lottery. Shirley Jackson or the other, your pick.
If you had to eat the entirety of dog or cat, which would it be? Please specify the breed. Bonus points for recipes.

Dog. Newfoundland because of size and utilization of the coat afterward. 

Choose between the following superpowers and consequences:
A. You are invulnerable to damage, but your testicles painfully explode.
C. You can float a few inches off the ground while drunk, but sometimes your arm feels funny.
Z. You can transmit any pain and damage done to your body into somebody else's body, but now your favorite relative gets migraines

C. because it already happens daily.

The wrong kind of weirdo has a gun to your head, choose between losing your right pinky finger or both pinky toes!

Right pinky finger. I don't use it for bass playing. But I dance.

What popular song do you hate the most?

I hate Nick Jonas' Jealous

What popular song do you hate the least?

 I hate Ariana Grande's Into You the least.

Syrup or Jelly?

Depends on the jelly. Molasses is lower on the convertible sugar scale. Jelly usually spikes me in an uncontrollable way. Taste, jelly. Diabetes, syrup because it's easy to regulate.

All important issues have now been covered.

Thursday, October 13, 2016

Curse Bringer

There is only one type of true magic.
(Never you mind wizards and their flashy tricks.)
It is subtle and strange.
It is strong but particular.

“The art of the seamstress runs dangerous and deep.
“Beware of bone needles threaded with hair.

“In the wrath of wise women, take care,
“Great care.”

To affect folk, you need a facsimile of one. A handful of rags, a needle, and thread will do just fine.
(A handful of mud and fire will work just as well. Mandrake root is effective and ready made, though it does truly scream if harvested towards this purpose. [The picker must Save or Die. Go to 1 HP on a successful save. Best to trick another into doing the picking.])

Once the doll is done. Tie it to your victim.

Sew it up with her hair. Stain its stuffing with his blood. Take her tears. Steal his semen. Connect the doll with your victim. Then whisper their name thrice, interspersed with the operative word.
Finally mar your work in way that matches your intent. A pin through the knee to make him lasting lame. Black ribbons wrapped tight to steal her sight. Rend it open to make him die. A knot in the heart to make her cry. Add a serpent’s tongue and he can’t help but lie.
Do this all in the night.
When morning must come, your wish will be right.

Game shit!
New Class, Curse Bringer.

Saves, HP, Levels, ETC as Wizard/Magic User.

Abilities: Bring Curse.
Once each Night the Curse Bringer may perform a curse on any sentient, mortal being.
The curse is symbolically executed upon a connected doll (see above) and comes true with the rising sun, if the victim fails a saving throw vs. magic.
This save is negatively modified by the Curse Bringer’s Level (-1/lvl).

The curse must be contained in a single, descriptive word:
Blinded, Dying (takes 1d4 additional days), Quiet, Impotent, Lame, Lying, Melancholic, etc.

Blood, Seminal Fluid, and/or Hair, when freely given, cause the victim to suffer an additional -2 to their saving throw.

Discarded Nail Clippings, Hair, and Blood give the victim a +2 on their saving throw.

Connecting the doll symbolically (for instance dressing in similar clothing, drawing a decent likeness of the victim’s face, using a family member’s blood, hair, etc.) allows the victim to roll their save twice, taking the best result.

If the victim passes his/her saving throw, the curse rebounds to the Curse Bringer at sunrise. The Curse Bringer is also entitled to a saving throw. If this saving throw is passed, an appropriate Spiritual Entity will charge the Victim and the Curse Bringer with a specific quest. Of course both parties must work together or suffer some terrible consequence. Life lessons are optional.

Curses last until the doll is destroyed in daylight. The exception is the dying curse, which is irreversible once 3 days have passed. Rebounding dying curses kill instantly.

Toying with death rarely works out. He is a ruthless accountant.

There are many other rituals that may be performed by a Curse Bringer. Such rituals are little known, rare, and fiercely guarded. Many may only be performed once.

Sunday, October 9, 2016

Why Goblins?

The New Formed Goblin drinks deep of pointlessness.
In a moment, he will smile.

Goblins do not care in a fashion to which many are secretly jealous.

Their own lives hardly matter. They are 4 year olds mainlining amphetamines and nihilism. 

By extension, nothing but the moment matters to them, nothing but the moment exists for a goblin. 
There is no point in the past or the future; both directions lead to unbeing. 

This allows them to be present in a way no yogi nor guru nor monk ever could.

We would be right to be jealous if they were real.

So in worlds where they are real, imagine how much they would be hated.

Imagine how little they would care, how little they could care.

This is why the goblin laughs when you cut off her brother’s foot. This is why the brother slugs his sister before he bothers to try and bite through your Achilles tendon.

Goblins know the absurd joke of existence. Goblins are the absurd joke of existence.

Tuesday, October 4, 2016

noose tied around yer neck in the form of a tie


Day 4 - Demon

So, so many ancient pacts between fools and demons were tied with a terrible knot about the neck.

So much the better for dark ones when cravats and neck ties became such an enduring part of men's fashion.

Power is exchanged for compassion. One often flees in the presence of the other so it difficult to know if the monster is the man or tie wrapped 'round his throat.

By necessity Knot Demons are very fluent in current affairs, mergers, acquisitions, political stratagems, and fashion.  They are fierce negotiators. Should you summon one, be ready to trade many secrets for a single answer.

DO NOT under any circumstances allow one to come within a 12 inches of your neck.

The creature closes its collar-jaws with surreal speed. Suddenly, fangs pierce your spine.

Before you can comprehend, a new voices cajoles and screams in your head. Pulling yourself free is a sure way to die. You don't have to agree to its awful pact, but the beast will allow you know rest, not a heartbeat of relief, until you agree or die.

By necessity, Knot Demons molt weekly. They are always, always in style... 

Thursday, September 29, 2016

Early Draft of a Monster

Fingerbone Crawler aka Side-channel Worm

What were they? What are they, crawling in the dark?
Clawing, clawing in the dark.
Do they hate? Do they know?
Could they understand? Would they comprehend?
Are their spines for violence or soley defend?
What else but man might stalk through their inherited halls?
Were they us, once, turned sharp and curled in stinking dark?
Were they better? Were they worse?
Which of us came first?

To the lightless halls, it were them?
But what of the end?
When the many suns' distend?...
When we shall surely perish, what then?

Is it concrete, feeds and fends them?
End to end? Along the side?

The air is heavy in their ditches,
Sleep so deep. So deep.

You will know them by their stenches.

Weep child, weep.

The finished version will be in next month's issue of SNNS&SCS.

Tuesday, July 19, 2016

One trick pony classes...

Hopeless Romantic / Obsessed Creepo
Saves are like 18 across the board. d6 HD.
BAB is equal to the number of people watching, to whom the person is sexually attracted.
Permanent -1 BAB penalty per love interest that dies.
If BAB gets worse than -1, then character enters a suicidal fugue.
I guess if you wanna be Tina in a dungeon… this is how you do it.
Or just roll up a fighter and then act exactly like Tina in a dungeon. That’s probably more fun anyway.
Then again, Tina leading a conga line of Jimmy JR clones and zombies in a bid to kill the dungeon boss…

Danger Princess
Bonus to Saves is equal to the number of potential damage dice around her.
Otherwise saves are 15 across the board. d6 HD.
Like if she’s tied up over a pit 1d6, filled with angry otters (4 of ‘em at d3), and there’s a fucking dragon (d8/d8/d12) she gets a +8 to her save against demon possession or cholera or whatever.
Cumulative 1% chance a prince or princess will come to “rescue” Danger Princess with each violent encounter…
She must then either surrender  class powers or slay her bossy rescuer or like, however she handles it. Ya know.

Friday, June 17, 2016

If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
---Leviticus 20:13 

I was raised in a household that boycotted Disney in the 90s because, I guess, Disney didn't ban homosexuals from their theme parks...

Many years ago, I realized I was bi.

A few months ago, I wrote a 1 page dungeon contest entry about an attack on a pseudo medieval gay bar. (I did kind of a bad job with it, especially layout wise.)

A few weeks ago, I realized I was trans.

Almost immediately after that, public restrooms became a focus of my anxiety. (That and homemade Trump for president signs.)

A few days ago Pulse, a queer nightclub was attacked. You know about that, though.

I've stared at hate for a long time, from a number of perspectives. I used to be a bad person.

When I was a young teenager, I thought it was morally acceptable to murder abortion providers. I was encouraged in this terrible idea rather than rebuked.

When I say I've looked at hate from a number of perspectives, I mean it, quite terribly, I mean this.

Hate is probably more often your uncle or your neighbor or your pastor than it is somebody with a swastika tattoo or pipebomb.

It's sad, abandoned boys desperate to lash outwards.

It's the town drunk who is quietly happy that someone is a much worse sinner than she.

Anyway, here is a slightly better version of my entry...

Feather's and Flame:

{ a study in intolerance }

Priest Kliner had reached a dead end in his ecclesiastical career. He just didn't  have the political acumen to rise any higher. He knew the One-Father loved him, chose him, but the fools all about could not see.

He prayed for a miracle. Flagellantly, he denounced his terrible hungers. Priest Kliner took to wearing hair shirts and wandering the streets in the small hours of the morning.

There, in some piss-stained alley, behind an apple cart, the One-Father gave him succor. Kliner's hungers turned towards a prostitute. He followed her & found a den of inequity beyond his imagining. Idolatry, buggery, & so much more.

the everyday face of a monster, Pr. Kliner

Adrahna  | forceful, brazen, braggart, ciswoman, dresses as man, master of the smallsword, bisexual.
Heraclest | big, effeminate, soft-spoken, lonely, & gay. Large mop of curled mouse-brown hair.
Cowl  | (Formerly Colleen) lives as a man at a nearby monastery. Studious, quiet, & sincere. Tonsured. He is the sometimes lover of Adrahna.
Dark Heather  | dabbler of the occult, former lover of both Heraclest & Adrahna.  Pansexual ( Supposedly in a relationship with a ghost).
Sereh  | Reputation an even tempered widow & is aprosperous proprietress of several ropewalks. Actually deeply involved sensualist. Willing to try anything.
Horast  | Huge, fat, drunk, one-armed barkeep/owner. Not interested in much beyond the exclusive coin he can pump out of his clientele. (Formerly a black smith . Keeps his old hammer behind the bar.)
Previously Peter | P. P. was an apple thief hanged a century before. Surprisingly, Dark Heather is in fact in a long-term, committed, relationship with a ghost, this ghost. Previously Peter is completely immaterial, except to D. Heather .
(Could be invaluable aid, if anyone believes Heather.)|

Where the Feathered Dandy is Situated... Click the pic to enlarge.


10 Bells - Immediately after Kliner’s sermon, Tam Boisen (Red Faced & Flashy) leads 10 typical & goodly townsmen (torches & clubs) to destroy the Dandy and those within.

Tam Boisen

Five minutes later, Twill Boisen (Red Faced, Drunk, Bulbous Nose) staggers into the fray with 12 ruffians (knives & ropes) looking to lynch and loot.

Twill Boisen

Within 10 minutes 20 Gendarmes arrive (Bec De Corbins & leather jackets). They simply attempt to restore order restored as soon as possible.

(good luck sorting it out, players)

AFTERMATH,  If his honest flock is harmed, Kliner can blame the lax ways of his superiors & profit. If his flock is successful, he can take full credit for their righteousness & profit.

(Kliner knows all of this but will admit such to no one, least of all himself.)