Saturday, July 19, 2014

No More Clerics

I do not like clerics. They don't fit their supposed niche as holy warriors. They're just sort of half-assed spell casters who only use blunt weapons for… reasons. They aren’t anything like St. George, a Knight Templar, nor Sir Gawain. Paladins actually fill that role and do it well while looking the part.

I did/do like specialty priests in 2e. In fact when I ran 2e, I only allowed specialty priests. If you wanted to worship a god for magics, you should look like you worshiped that god, instead of say, looking like a dude/dudette with a mace who said “Thor” instead of “Zues” or “Jesus” or “Whateverius”. So while I've been busy house-ruling LotFP, I've decided to drop clerics entirely.

Yet, there is a long tradition of gods, demons, and godlings granting folk magical power via ritual in history, myth, and literature.

So I gave all the cleric spells to magic users, with some caveats. 

To be able to cast any particular spell from the cleric list, a wizard must seek out forgotten demonic grimoires or lost holy texts. Therein, he/she will learn the sacred/blasphemous rites with which to entice power from some particular demon/godling/angel/saint/whatever. (None of these powers will have a monopoly on any particular spell so a character can seek out a different source if a ritual happens to be too repugnant. [Unless, of course, you want a particular power to have that monopoly on a spell for some reason.] These spells are castable daily, in addition to the character's normal magic user spell slots. One cleric spell cannot be traded for another

Here is a short ritual generator, to give you an idea of what sort of rituals I was thinking of…

Just roll three d4s, one d6, and interpretate.  

Click to Enlarge
How often does a caster have to deal with this nonsense?

Level One – Once, perform the appropriate ritual but once.
Level Two – You’re going to need to ritually appease the god-thing annually.
Level Three – Commence with the rituals upon the equinoxes and solstices. (It’s like a quarterly report.) 
Level Four – You gonna need to do that there ritual on the equinoxes and solstices; additionally the spell will require an expensive and/or difficult to acquire material component. The material component is not consumed upon casting. (Examples of material components, statuette of the god from an ancient temple, one pound of discarded hawk feathers, a liar’s pinky finger, ashes from a hero’s funeral pyre, a big-ass ruby, space honey, etc.)
Level Five – Upon the equinoxes and solstices do yer ritual; additionally the spell will require an expensive and/or difficult to acquire material component. The material component is consumed upon casting.
Level Six – The would-be caster must first build a shrine to the god/whatever and perform the appropriate ritual there each month.
Level Seven – The would-be caster must first build a public temple to the god/whatever and perform the sacred ritual there each week.

Alternatively, the caster could convert X number of heathens or corrupt X souls to obtain his/her holy/unholy spells.

X defined by Spell Level
Level One – 2 Souls; Level Two – 4 Souls; Level Three – 8 Souls; Level Four – 16 Souls; Level Five – 32 Souls; Level Six – 64 Souls; Level Seven – 128 Souls.

If a magic user wishes, he/she can give up 2 of his/her 3 starting magic user spells to be able cast a randomly determined Cleric Spell. It will be assumed that he/she already sacrificed enough souls or completed the appropriate ritual or whatever. (This will of course give the character two spells to cast daily at level one but with fewer options.)

Those who master both ritual and academic magics are known amongst the initiated as Wizards. Those who seek the indirect path to mystical strength and rely on fickle entities for power are commonly termed Sorcerers, Witches, or Warlocks. Finally, those who abstain from entanglements of forgotten godlings and other petty spirits term themselves Mage or Magi. (Common folk, of course, simply call them all scary as fuck and burn such folk at the stake [if the common folk think they can get away with it].)

Alright, so if clerical magic comes from demons or angels or whatever, where does the other kind of magic come from?

Do you just want me to design your whole setting too?

Anyway, it comes from the Feywode, Álfheimr, the Land of the Hidden Folk. This is a twisted, dreamscape that mirrors and intersects with the mundane world but is inhabited by fairies, angels, demons, and other weirder things. It’s also full to the brim with “Creation” or “Chaos” or “Terrible Radiation” depending on your perspective.

Academic magic teaches specific, repeatable mental and physical practices which breach this other world and draw off some of its power. This power is then carefully directed by the magic user to accomplish a specific task. 

Every time a magic user learns a new spell from the magic user list, he/she must make a saving throw vs. spell with a penalty equal to the spell level. (At the DM's discretion, wisdom, intelligence, and/or charisma modifiers may be applied to this roll.) If he/she fails this saving throw, roll on your favorite horrible mutations chart. If you are a dick, you can make starting characters roll saving throws for their beginning spells too…

(For my home campaigns, I allow/force magic users to spontaneously learn a single spell when they obtain access to a new spell level. This happens overnight, and the character may sacrifice a night of sleep to feverishly record the spell into his/her spell book. Of course, he/she may instead immediately cast the spell to divulge his/herself of its influence [and therefore not have to chance a roll on the mutations chart].)

And that’s what I’ve decided to do with Clerics and to Magic Users.

Lamentations of the Flame Princess & the LotFP abbreviation are totally © James Edward Raggi IV.

Saturday, July 12, 2014

Gnomes: Driven, Sexless, Clever Gnomes

Elves embody passion, liminality, and violent natural forces.

Dwarves are built of dedication, intractability, and stolid grim refusal.*

And, Halflings personify serendipity, curiosity, and grinning pastoral acceptance.*

Gnomes, then, represent drive, ingenuity, and independent creative invention.
Perhaps Slightly Less Cartoonish

Gnome, a new class for LotFP.

Gnomes, so far as anyone can tell, spring fully formed into the world.  Gnomes have no real conception of their beginnings. They exist. There are new things to be learned, problems resolved, progress to be made. The past is useful because of lessons learned, but nostalgia is without purpose.

Most scholars suppose that gnomes are formed from the dreams and desires of men leeching into the Feywode. Other scholars believe that gnomes are born from the despair of great men who failed to accomplish great ends. Some scholars are clearly frustrated poets. It is likely best that they only haunt us with their mediocre scholarship and not their abysmal poesy.

Gnomes, though actually being sexless, appear to be very short men or women, on average slightly taller than most halflings. Silver, white, or gray hair and prodigious noses (whether hooked or bulbous, gnome noses are large) round out their defining physical features. Otherwise, they can have any features that men have. Gnomes typically live for 100-200 years unless slain.

At the center of every gnome’s being is the desire to practice some particular manner of art or craft, his/her Drive. Be this craft mechanical, scholarly, or artisanal in nature, the gnome is compelled to perfect his/her Drive. Most gnomes are well received by human communities excepting those tradesmen with which they compete for business. Adventuring gnomes simply have a Drive that requires travel or field testing. For instance, a knife maker may need firsthand knowledge to perfect the smithing of fighting blades, or an apothecary gnome may need to visit odd places to gather new knowledge and specimens of diverse flora. (Having traveling companions insane enough to try experimental blends of medicinal herbs would be a boon to the apothecary gnome as well.)

Game Stuff:
Gnomes have the saving throws and hit dice of a Cleric. Like halflings, gnomes can’t use large weapons and must use medium weapons with both hands. Gnomes are exceptionally gifted at identifying the form and function of mechanical contraptions. Therefore, they begin play with a 3/6 in Tinkering. This rises to 4/6 at level 4, 5/6 at level 7, and 6/6 at level 10. Gnomes also have 5/6 skill in their Drive (which becomes 6/6 at level 10). Finally, gnomes may cast a single spell per day from the Gnomish Spell List so long as they are unencumbered.

Gnomish Spell List:
Illusion (New Spell, See Below)
Light (Many gnomes instinctually cast Light as they continue working late into the night.)
Fairy Fire (The outlining hyper-light of Fairy Fire is often used by non-adventuring gnomes to detect flaws in workmanship and materials not quite visible to the naked eye).

Level: 1
Type of Magic: Gnomish
Duration: Special
Range: 30’ Radius centered on Caster
Saving Throw: Save (-1 for each sense engaged) to realize it’s a phony or just disbelieve.
Required Components : Complete Concentration.

By means of this spell a gnome may create an illusion of anything he/she desires. This illusion may be composed of elements interacting with the following senses:

1. Sight
2. Sound
3. Hearing
4. Smell
5. Light Tactile Sensations
6. Mild Temperature Differences; Warmth/Cool
7. Very Minor Pain/Discomfort

The caster can create an illusion with a number of sensations equal to his/her level.

The illusion lasts so long as the gnome maintains complete concentration. He/she may speak in short, simple sentences but may not move at more than a snail’s pace. There is one exception; a gnome may perform work related to his/her Drive while maintaining an illusion. In fact, many gnomes do this spontaneously while working. This allows them to plan out complicated procedures as they’re performing them.

Tactile sensations are a definite weakness of illusions.


I've also got an alt-history/fantasy early colonial Americas setting bouncing around in the back of my mind. The weird elves, gnomes, halflings, and dwarves would be in it.

*Rules As Written. These Dwarves are gonna be hard-ass vikings, I think...

Lamentations of the Flame Princess & the LotFP abbreviation are totally © James Edward Raggi IV.

Saturday, July 5, 2014

A Definitely Not Award Winning Magical Item

One of my entries for the OSR Superstar Contest:

The Eggs of Creation / Seeds of the Enemy

“The Scrolls of Light speak of these cursed things. The Seeds were the Old Enemy’s greatest weapon. It forged them in the Gray Ages when the forces of Chaos controlled much of the world. These fell Seeds blossom into bloody change, perpetuating disorder…”

“The Eggs, the Eggs, they are stark hard beauty. Inside is a small piece of Creation itself. Breaking them releases Creation to crash again against the Stagnation of the ordered gods. The Eggs are wishes fulfilled. They are the hope of forward motion. They are ruthless, random elegance…”

The Eggs of Creation, also known as Seeds of the Enemy, are found in clutches of 3 or 5.

These small, pearlescent, slightly flattened ovoids seem unassuming enough. They certainly appear to be valuable, but this belies the stunning power held within them. The only clue to an Egg’s unusual nature is that sunlight reflects black on a Seed’s surface. They radiate no magic.

The powers of Law fear the change, violence, and disharmony the Seeds represent.

The powers of Chaos see the Eggs as sacred reminders of the inconstancy of existence.

The Eggs/Seeds cannot be broken by accident. They are harder than adamant until a being intends to break one. With that intention in place, however, the Eggs/Seeds are as fragile as thin crystal.
When one is broken, a single Boon may be asked. This Boon must be spoken aloud in a single non-compound sentence (no conjunctions, semicolons, etc.). Anything may be requested, similar to an Unlimited Wish. When an Egg/Seed is broken, roll 1d6.

1. The Boon Happens as Desired with Mild Repercussions. Something odd but ultimately inconsequential on a large scale happens: E.g., everything within a 1d100 mile radius is now blue [or red or green or yellow]; or perhaps the requester is now part flower (but which part?).

2. The Boon Happens but Reality is Altered - One randomly determined sentient species no longer exists. Those present at the breaking of the Egg/Seed and the gods are the only beings that remember this species. For all others, this race simply never existed. Some gods may be particularly unhappy with this result. Those present at the breaking of the Egg/Seed are not affected. (Alternatively, if this option is rolled more than once, a whole new species may be suddenly born into existence.)

3. The Boon Happens but Reality is Altered - All the gods have their alignment and temperament flipped, but keep their portfolios. (Chaotic to Lawful, Lawful to Chaotic, Neutral to Chaotic or Lawful [choose whichever is most interesting or flip a coin]) Example: Suddenly there is an orderly and benign god of murder and an insanely violent god of justice. Everyone remembers the way things used to be, except for the gods. Angry confusion ensues.

4. The Boon Happens but Reality is Altered - Everyone/thing within 1d100 miles of the requesting character has their biological sex flipped. Non-sexually-dimorphic creatures now have sexes. The requesting character is now biologically nonsexed. Everyone remembers the way things were and few are happy with their new equipment.

5. The Boon Happens but Reality is Altered - Magic is fundamentally different now. Was magic exceedingly rare? Now it is very common. Was magic a gift of the gods? Now it is an innate part of sentient beings and a blasphemous affront to the faithful. As an example: All Clerics now cast Wizard Spells and Wizards now cast Cleric Spells. This is the way it has always been. Spell-casters present at the breaking of the Egg/Seed are unaffected, and only those present remember the way things were.

6. The Boon Happens but Reality is Altered - Nocturnal Creatures all become Diurnal; Diurnal Creatures all become Nocturnal. Eyesight for the creatures changes as appropriate. This is the way it has always been. Only those present at the breaking of the Egg/Seed remember things differently and remain unaffected.

Eggs/Seeds from the same clutch CANNOT undo what is wrought by another Egg/Seed. Those from another clutch may be used to undo both the Boon and Repercussions of an Egg/Seed (but not the Boon or the Repercussions alone).

Ancient verses speak of several clutches hidden throughout the wide breadth of the world. The forces of Law strive to have the Seeds remain forgotten and lost in their dark, forgotten corners. Creatures of Chaos seek to bring the eggs forth again, shining black in the bitter daylight.

Once a Repercussion has occurred, the GM may wish replace that entry in the chart with some other consequence.

You may recognise a version of that chart from another article. If you do then you are paying far more attention than I suspected.

Saturday, June 28, 2014

Longbows are Badass

Mucking about with the Lamentations of the Flame Princess has sort of become my new hobby. While reading the appendix on guns, James mentioned that the training necessary to be an archer was something that LotFP didn't take into account. Additionally the 1d6 damage rating for the longbow had been irking me.

For a typical longbow bow with a 60 lbs. draw 1d6 damage makes total sense. For a Welsh/English longbow or a Mongol Bow with a draw between 100-180 lbs. that makes little sense. Such weapons required a lifetime of training to use. They aren't simply drawn either; an archer must to push into the limbs of the bow with his/her off hand as well as pull back with his/her main hand to bend them. These things will destroy you.

First things first, a new weapon:

Bow, Heavy
Cost 150-200 sp
Damage - 1d8
Range - Short <150'; Medium <600'; Long <1,000'
Special Notes: -2 to hit if unskilled (see below). -2 to hit and damage* with Strength <13.

*Minimum of 1 Damage

And now, the main event:

Heavy Archery, a new Specialist skill.

Unlike every other Specialist skill, this skill begins at 0/6.
Additionally, skill points must be spent on Heavy Archery at character generation if any are ever to be spent on it.
The listed X/6 is the characters BAB with Heavy Bows.
Heavy Archery cannot be improved past 6/6.

So why don't ya go shove an arrow through the skull of an orc or a wyvern or a corrupt senator or something?

Lamentations of the Flame Princess & the LotFP abbreviation are totally © James Edward Raggi IV.

Saturday, June 21, 2014

Elves Just Got Weird, Ya'll

This is my version of LotFP elves. This class mod is unabashedly inspired/cribbed from +James Young’s excellent, if scarier-looking version of elves

Elves exist in a liminal state. They are no longer quite men, nor are they yet amongst the hidden folk. They are the children lost in the Feywode, or what is left of these children when they return, and centuries have passed. They are men and women bewitched by phantom fairy lovers and tricked into trodding through Álfheimr. They are touched too long by the strange energies, the wild winds, the throbbing foliage of these places.

Changes from the RAW:

Elves begin play knowing how to cast but a single, randomly determined spell. This spell is a part of the elf. It is in his/her blood, bones, and soul if indeed an elf ever possessed a soul. With each level, the gnosis of a new spell comes freely, suddenly, and just as randomly into the elf’s being. This is the only way an elf may grow his/her repertoire of spells without resorting to ritual cannibalism…

Additionally elves don’t quite look human and must roll a d10 on the following Trait Chart three times at character creation. Note that rolling the same trait more than once usually intensifies that trait, for good or ill.

1.  Aelfen Eyes 
Rolled Once – Strangely colored eyes (pink, gold, purple, chartreuse, etc.), +1/6 to all searching for hidden doors and objects.
Rolled Twice – Eyes glow slightly in moonlight, additional +1/6 to searching rolls.
Rolled Thrice – Eyes glow noticeably at night. 

2. Fine Fingered 
Rolled Once – Noticeably long and delicate looking fingers.
Rolled Twice – Oddly thin, almost skeletal fingers, grip is unusually strong, +1/6 to climb.
Rolled Thrice – Surreally long and inhumanly strong fingers, +1 to hit and damage when attempting to choke someone, additional +1/6 to climb.

3. Waifishly Thin
Rolled Once – Unusually lithe, long, and lean body.
Rolled Twice – Weighs half as much as a normal human being of his/her size, -1 to Con, +1/6 chance to move quietly.
Rolled Thrice – Skeletally gaunt, needs only 1/10 as much food to survive healthfully, -2 to Con.

4 & 5. Ethereal Beauty
Rolled Once – Exceptionally beautiful.
Rolled Twice – Painfully attractive and remarkably free from any blemish. 
Rolled Thrice – Glows slightly when not concentrating*, voice has a hypnotic quality, +1 to Reaction Rolls when the other party has heard the elf speak.

6. Aelfen Ears
Rolled Once – Slightly pointed ears, 1/6 chance of surprise.
Rolled Twice – Longish, pointed, inhuman ears.
Rolled Thrice – Large, animalistic ears, often those of a lynx, ass, or rabbit, cannot be surprised by anything that makes noise.

7. Owl Eyed
Rolled Once – Big eyes, lowlight vision** 20 ft.
Rolled Twice – Frighteningly large eyes, lowlight vision** 40 ft.
Rolled Thrice – Actual owl eyes, lowlight vision** 160 ft. 

8. Elf Mark
Rolled Once – Has a small patch of gleamingly white hair, often in the shape of a hand print or star.
Rolled Twice – Elf mark cannot be completely covered, die won’t hold in it, falling head-first into mud will leave it inexplicably still visible, hoods will mysteriously fall right off.
Rolled Thrice – Elf mark cannot be cut, pulled, shorn, nor shaved.

9. Light Footed 
Rolled Once – Is very light on his/her feet, +1/6 chance to surprise others.
Rolled Twice – Leaves no trail in natural environments.
Rolled Thrice – Leaves no foot prints under any circumstances.

10. Choose One.

11+. The Elf in question develops animal legs, often those of a goat, horse, or crane. He/she cannot roll any further on this chart without surrendering fully to his/her otherworldly nature (thus becoming a non-playable character). Also, pants and shoes are kind of a problem now…

Elves know how to party.
"The Triumph of Ariadne" by Hans Makart
To recharge his/her spells after casting them, an elf need only engage in some manner of activity about which he/she is deeply passionate. This will vary from elf to elf, but often includes things such as dueling, singing, drinking fine ass wines, eating, and wenching/knaving (would the gender swapped version of wenching be knaving?). However, attending religious services, reading Sappho, trading baseball cards, gardening, or debating philosophy are also perfectly alright ways to recharge. Elves only need to do these things for about an hour to refill them spell slots, but often stick it out for longer than is strictly necessary.

Elves cannot learn the spell Read Magic. Elves cannot use magical scrolls. 

Magic is a part of them. It comes from inside their very being. Other than the gnosis of levelling, the only way for an elf to learn more spells, is to eat the heart of another elf or the brain of a wizard. Most elves develop particular rituals for doing this, but the only actual requirement is that the organ being devoured is wholly intact. 

In the case of eating an elf’s heart, the consuming elf will know every spell the dead elf ever knew. As for eating wizard brains, the elf will only learn the spells the wizard had memorized at the time of his/her death.

Every time an elf consumes a heart or brain in this fashion, he/she acquires another supernatural trait and must roll again on the trait chart, with a larger die than the last roll. This means that the first time an elf cannibalizes somebody for magic, he/she would roll a d12. The next time a d20. After that a d100. (You can do smaller steps if you have the dice and are a nicer DM.) If the elf engages in this action with a creepy little ritual, he/she can roll twice and take the lowest. The ritual should take about 1-2 hours to complete.

Elves need never sleep, except to heal damage.

Normal people are fucking terrified of the supernatural. Particularly unlucky looking elves typically get burned at the stake.

So I’ve shown you my elves… why don’t you show me yours?

[Raises Eyebrow Suggestively]

* Fighting for your life? You are not concentrating on not glowing.
**Low Light Vision – So long as there is any source of light, the character can see up to ranges described below. For instance, if there’s a single candle burning in the corner of a warehouse, that’s enough. If there are stars out and it’s only a bit cloudy, that’s enough. Locked in a pitch black basement? Nope. Thunderstorm at midnight? Nope. 

Saturday, June 14, 2014

d5 "Science" Monsters

The following are four classic fantasy monsters explained away with cold, impersonal science (Scooby-Dooed with almost adequate explanations, really) and one weird monster I just sort of made up. But why?

A monster hunter campaign in a "fantasy" world that has no magic would be fun on the bun. Clerics are herbalist healers whose rituals accidentally work. Mages are shams and alchemists, but they totally know it. Oh those wily "wizards".

Alternatively, these could serve as a nice surprise/fuck-you to PCs expecting anti-magical protections and the like to work.

Or you could use this to drop a "fantasy" world into your scifi campaign. 

Saturday, June 7, 2014

d3 Strange Worlds

The dX charts continue, with those weird Gamescience dice...

So the PCs have just stepped through a random portal or crash landed onto an alien world? Roll 1d3...

Click to Enlarge